2023 has been a topsy-turvy experience for me. I, in 2023, have hit the highest of highs, and also hit the lowest of lows. However, the proportion of low, to me, has arched the peak of achievements. For what reason I have hit that low, might be a topic for another day. I have gone through severe emotional distress throughout the latter half of 2023 and may have also picked up a psychological illness slowly eating away the essence of my soul.
What are the achievements of this year? Well, the biggest one was probably surviving SPL-2, with all the trauma that went with it and also getting a high grade that semester. The semester break this year was another never-before-seen experience for me, and probably something only a handful of people ever experienced during their undergraduate years. I managed to get into two jobs at the same time, and an overly enthusiast Sampad thought it would be manageable. Thank god though that the internship at Grameen ended before the semester started in full swing. At the start of the semester, I had four things at hand, an internship, part-time works, academics, and the National Blockchain Olympiad.
Throughout the rest of the semester, I found a hard time managing time for my academics as well as part time works. Things started to go down when preparation started for ITverse. I had to continuously shuffle between one thing and another, as managing ITverse, managing part-time stuffs, and also doing academics at the crunch time all started taking a toll on my life. I virtually had no free time, couldn't talk to my parents, and couldn't spend time with my friends. My daily routine was to go to university, come back, and sit on a chair for 10 hours straight, with no break and no breathing room. My psychological condition deteriorated rapidly at this time, and everyone started to notice.
One of the most beautiful things to happen this year, Oli, a cat, we picked up, died during this time as well. :")
Previously, in my life, I never encountered such furious workloads, something which needed me to be hyperactive all the time. I started becoming angry at everything, unleashing my rage and anger over silly topics. I frequently lashed out at people as I continuously became alienated from my former happier phase.
Things started to dial down after ITverse was over, and as the semester came to an end. I still have episodes of rage, followed by panic attacks and continuously suffer from indecision and uncertainty. However, I am grateful to the people around me for continuously tolerating the BS I throw at them and continously being at my side, no matter what. I will forever be indebted to them.
I also met some amazing people throughout 2023. 2023 helped me discover a part of me that I have never seen before, a part that can go out and talk to people, make new friends and perhaps the most important thing, lead.
I don't know what the future holds, but with the internship semester around the corner and a few other duties to fulfill, I just pray that the next year won't be as traumatic as 2023. I want to spend some for time with my family and friends in 2024. I also want to spend some time for myself.
As for 2023, adios, I will not miss you.
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